As time and life pressures pile up, one on top of the next, one challenge begins to crystallize above all the others: Keeping Your Cool. How can a Father maintain a healthy equanimity, functioning as a container for his family without bottling all the stress up until the container bursts? There is no single answer to that one.
I find myself concentrating on, and relying on, a metaphor that some people term “flow.” If I can’t find the flow for all the things I task myself with accomplishing, but still try to do everything I envisioned wanting to do, the whole process gets jammed up and nothing gets done right or goes right. With experience, I think I’m getting better at forecasting what will work within the flow of my life, and what I need to leave out for the present (or maybe what larger task needs re-apportioning to get done piecemeal).
While the need to go with the flow is not unique to Fatherhood, being a Father has intensified the training in figuring out my own flow patterns.
This month, I invite Dads reading to identify what is not flowing in their lives. Then imagine what can be re-arranged to make the overall flow better. If something is seriously disturbing your personal flow, perhaps it is not meant to be in the channel right now.